For 2022, I decided to start the Blossom and Become Book Club, and our January book is You Will Not Have My Hate, by Antione Leiris. I decided to start this book club a little late into the year, so I wanted to lead off with something short, but powerful. This one takes less than an hour to read, but packs a punch. I feel so inclined to appreciate the small moments after finishing it. I had actually read this book before, but wanted to another chance to review it.
The premise of You Will Not Have My Hate is based on an open letter posted to Facebook, written by the author to his wife’s killers. Antoine Leiris lost his beloved wife, and the mother to his seventeen-month-old son, when she was killed in the terrorist attack on Paris, France in 2015. He wrote a letter to her killers and here are a few of the excerpts. “On Friday night you stole the life of an exceptional being, the love of my life, the mother of my son, but you will not have my hate…That is what you want, but to respond to your hate with anger would be to yield that same ignorance that made you what you are. You want me to be scared. You have failed. I will not change.”
Favorite Quotes from You Will Not Have My Hate
Throughout this narrative detailing the grief and pain of a family torn apart, are sweet memories and treasured moments of living daily life together with the people you love most. I want to share a few quotes from the book that help me pause more and appreciate the little moments.
“We sing a song before bedtime. I tell myself she will come through the bedroom door and join us for the last couplet. I tell myself she will finally call. I tell myself we are going to wake up soon.”
“…next to a photograph of her. Melvil is holding on to her shoulders while he lies on her back. Her smile is like a flash of spring sunshine. A lock of hair falls over her eyes. She is looking at me, no pose, no lens. Her eyes speak directly to me. They tell me about the simple joys of those seventeen months we spent together, the three of us.”
“We will never return to our life of before. But we will not build a life against them. We will move forward in our own life.”
“But the most beautiful moments of our lives are not those we stick in photograph albums. I remember all those moments when we just took the time to love each other. Seeing an old couple and wanting to be like them. A burst of laughter. An empty morning, lounging in the comfort of our sheets. It is the most insignificant moments, where there is nothing to show, nothing to tell, that are the most beautiful. Those are the ones that fill my memory.”
“He also told me that children do no have memories before they are three, but that the seventeen months I spent with you will make me the man I will become.”
“I bring the photo of her and him. I will place it on the headstone so he understands that Mama is there. They are beautiful…His head leans gently toward her so his cheek touches hers. Just the faintest touch, enough to feel her presence.”
You Will Not Have My Hate Book Review
If you haven’t had the chance to read this one yet, I highly recommend it. The message is concise, but powerful. Since Antoine started writing this book right after his wife was killed, it paints a more pure depiction of raw grief. Over time grief changes the thoughts and pain that is felt after losing a loved one. Those immediate feelings and memories are so difficult to put into words, yet Antoine does it beautifully. After reading this book, I want to soak up all the little moments with my family and loved ones. All the seemingly insignificant moments will be the ones that I miss the most. I want to be a better mom, wife, daughter, sister, and friend; to create a meaningful life made up of millions of small moments. This is criteria I use to distinguish an incredible book from a good book. After finishing an incredible book, I want to change who I am, and become better.
Thank you for joining in this year’s book club and I so look forward to discussing this book with each of you. I hope it will be as meaningful to you as it has been to me.
Sincerely,
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